Sleep is for Pussies

First off, I’d like to thank the absolute total friggin turd bags that work at Little Caesar’s here in Kanata for making last night possible.  It’s amazing to think that with all their not quite high school education, they are still not aware that pepperoni needs to be refrigerated. 

(Douchebag)

So, last night for dinner I made this amazing Asian vegetable stir fry with brown rice, which was really good, but which, as I made it, I knew my kids wouldn’t eat.  Not wanting to have to listen to their daily review of healthy food as “disgusting”, and “gross”, and to hear the vows of, “I am not eating that”, and that wails of, “you only made this because you hate me”, I asked my hubby to pick the kids up something on his way home from work.  "Surprise me", I said when he asked what he should get. 

So he brought home a medium pepperoni pizza from Little Caesar’s, a supposed “great deal” at only $5.99.  Pretty good, I thought.  The kids gobbled it down like it was ambrosia or something.  Within twenty minutes the whole pizza was gone!  About an hour later the trouble started.

Will started complaining of a stomach ache.  Not really an unusual thing.  Kids are always complaining about stomach aches.  He spent the night curled up on the couch, watching tv, willing himself to feel better.  By bedtime, Alex had a stomach ache too.

11:30pm:             “Moooooommmmmmmmmyyyyy!!!!!”

                           “Mmmm.  What Will?”

                           “I threw up in my bed. Whaaaaaaaaa!”

                            (Jake kicks me), “Will needs his bed changed”.

                            Sigh. “Ok, I’m coming”.

Turns out he had only thrown up a little bit on his bed sheet, so I changed it, threw his comforter back on and tucked him back in.  Lots of hugs and kisses and shmoopy shmoo, and I crawled back into my bed.

2:30am                 “Aaaaaarrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhhh!  Yuuurrrrrkkkkkk!  Moooommmmmmyyyyy!”

                             (Jake kicks me)

                             Sigh.  “Coming”.

Well, this time he’s really done it.  There is barf everywhere.  All over his comforter, his sheets, his blankie and himself.  Oh yeah, and all over his bedroom carpet.  Fuuuuccckkk!  Now I’m pissed, but one look at his pathetic little puke covered face and I can’t stay mad.  I dragged him to the bathroom and tossed him in the shower and then proceeded to strip his bed and attempt to clean his carpet.  I cannot fully describe in writing how disgusting this job was.  It was at this point, staring at my child’s vomit, that I realized Little Caesar’s was to blame, (Will’s not a great chewer).

I get Will back to sleep and crawl blearily back to my own bed.  Sleeping is a challenge at the best of times lately because of my broken collarbone, but apparently fate didn’t think I had enough to deal with last night and decided to throw a painful butt cramp my way.  Nice.

7:00am                 “Mooooooommmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyyyy”!

                             (Jake kicks me.  Again.)

                            “Whhaaaaat”?

                            “I barfed!”

I went into the bathroom and there is Alex, sitting on the toilet with a huge puddle of barf on the floor at his feet.  The identical barf his brother produced I might add, thank you Little Caesar’s.

One roll of paper towels, two bathmats and one shower later Alex was back in bed and I made my way back to my bed, again.  The entire top floor of our house smelled like barf.  Swell.

So there you have it.  Who needs sleep anyway?  Sleep is for pussies.  I mean really, check out this picture of me from this morning.  

Clearly I do just fine with no sleep.  Now, I think I’ll  just   zz zzzz zz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Michy

PS.  Both boys are fine now (3:00pm). Oh yeah, and I stepped in dog poo in my bare feet.  GREAT day!