Aw Snap!

Well.  This sucks.  The other day, (about two weeks ago now), I was sitting on my sofa reading a book when Will, who was sitting beside me popped the balloon he was playing with.  Naturally, I jumped about a foot which resulted in a loud snap and a massive bloom of pain in my barely healed collarbone. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.  My some miracle I managed not to scream a long list of very bad words.  OMG I thought, I've just re-broken my bone.

This was an especially unpleasant thought because things had been healing up so great.  I could lift weights, lift medium heavy stuff and most importantly, sleep on my left side.  Not anymore.  I'm back to no decent sleep, I can't even lift my purse with my left hand and I have to try and put deodorant on my right pit with my right hand.  I look like a monkey doing it!


(I must digress for a moment.  Both my children are standing at the DVD shelf in the tv room, buck naked, trying to figure out what movie to watch.  I have no idea why.  But anyway . . .)


So, after about two days I was in such pain that I decided to take everyone's advice and go to the doctor to have myself looked at.  I didn't really want to go.  I've played this game before.  You go, wait of four hours to see the doctor, they send you for an x-ray, you wait another hour, then they look at you and say, "yep, it's broken.  Go home and rest."  Pain however is a powerful motivator, so I drove myself over to the local, small town emergency room, (shorter wait), to get me an x-ray.

The Doctor and I both had a look at it.  It looked really good, I mean, if you think plates and screws and pins are attractive.  The Doctor gave me her opinion.  "It's not broken", she said.

Really?

"I think you just strained the muscle really bad".

Really?  What about the loud snapping sound?  I looked closer at the x-ray. "What about this spot here that looks like it's broken"?

"No", she said.  "I don't think so.  It's a muscle strain.  Go home and rest and if it's not better in two weeks go see your surgeon".

Ooookkkkkaaaaaaayyy.

Now, I work out regularly once every month and a half, so I know muscle strain and this was not it, so after two weeks off I went to see Dr. Phan(tastic).  He's still cute. He took one look at the x-ray and said, "Well Mrs. Lambert, you gorgeous woman.  You have indeed broken your collarbone again right there, (he pointed to the exact spot I had mentioned to the other doctor).  You need to take it easy and let it heal.  Your husband must to all the cleaning and laundry and shopping and just let you rest and watch General Hospital.  You are far to beautiful to be doing chores with a broken bone".

I mean, that's not and exact quote, but it's really close.  He also told me not to do any push-ups, which sucks ya know, because, like, that's just what I wanted to go and do.

So there you have it.  Trust your instincts.  Get a second opinion and if you don't like it, get a third one.  I'm off to catch up on General Hospital now.  Take care!

Michy