Alex and I Have The Talk

So, Alex and I had The Talk last week.  I was soooo not prepared.  I mean, I should be, but I wasn't.  I mean he's ten right?  He was bound  to ask sooner or later.  I should have prepared what I was going to say, but instead I tripped all over my tongue and sounded like a boob.  It went something like this:

There I am, 9:00pm, peacefully doing crossword puzzles in bed, listening to my meditative "8 Hours of Rain on a Canvas Tent" MP3, when Alex comes strolling on in in his undies, climbs up on my bed, gets directly into my face and says,

"Mom.  Tell me the truth.  Is the Easter Bunny real, or is is just you?"

"Wh, wh, wh!  What do you mean?  Why do you ask?"

(It is two days until Easter!!!!  What do I say?)

"Seriously Mom.  Just tell me."

"Uuuhhh.  Well you've seen The Gaurdians and Hop.  You know . . . ."

(This had been my standard go to answer for questions about Santa for years. "Well guys, you've seen Elf."  I crossed my fingers that this would work.)

"Really Mom?"

(Not the happy excited "Really Mom"!, but the "Really Mom" that is dripping with sarcastic, don't treat me like a child" kind of attitude that all children develop around age 10.  Oh shit.  He ain't buyin' it! This conversation is not going to end. Gulp!)

"You know honey, the really important thing about Easter isn't the Easter Bunny, or the chocolate and stuff.  It's about the sacrifice that Jesus made for us.  All the rest of it is just for fun".

(Send out enough mental wattage to actually light a halo around my head).

"Now what's a 5 letter word for octopus"?

"Mom"!
(He actually grabbed my chin and made me look at him!!)
"Stop trying to change the subject"!

I can't take it anymore.  The pressure is so intense!  I slammed my Crosswords For Beginners shut and looked at my baby.

"Alex!, Mommy is just not ready to have this conversation with you yet!"
(Please just ask me what an orgasm is or something!  Anything!)
"You just turned 10, and you know I'm not handling that very well, and now you want to talk about this?  Now??!!"

"Mom, just tell me".
(He actually had pity in him eyes!")

Sigh, "close the door".

And thus I told him the truth.  That Mommies and Daddies are the Easter Bunny. That we want to give our children a special day to celebrate Jesus overcoming death and the coming all new life with spring.

"Awww"  he says.  And then his eyes get this devilish little gleam and his mouth ticks up at one corner.  "I knew it!" he yells.

Why you little shit.

"What do you mean you knew it?"  I asked.  "You knew this whole time and you still made me suffer through this conversation!!!"

"Ya, I knew that you are the Tooth Fairy (that's another story), and the Easter Bunny.  I just wanted you to tell me.  But I know Santa's real."

My eyes start darting in any direction but him.

"Gasp.  Santa's real right??"

"Uuuuhhhhhhh . . . "

"What!?" No way!"

And thus ... (insert above paragraph but change Easter Bunny to Santa and Jesus overcoming death to Jesus's birth).

"Wow".

I actually told him about all the times in the last couple of years when someone almost blew the whistle on Santa for him.  Last year grandma put gifts under the Christmas tree marked, "To: Alex, From: Santa", which is fine, except she put the under the tree on Christmas Eve!  A full 15 hours before Santa was due to arrive!

This year I started in on how St. Nicholas was a great man who died many, many years ago.  Duh!  That did not go unnoticed.  I got a tongue cramp trying to talk my way out of that one!

Quite possibly the worst was when the boys were watching tv and Buddy the Elf came on and tried to sell them beer.  "Mom!  Why is Buddy selling beer?"  How do I tell them Buddy is just an actor but Santa is real?

So, where did this leave us?  Alex was cool with it all.  I mean really, I couldn't keep it a secret forever could I.  He'd look pretty silly being the only kid in college who still believed in the Easter Bunny.  I did let him in on something else though.  I told him that now that he was a member of the "Knowers Club", that he had a sacred duty to always keep Easter and Christmas special for those of his friends and family who still believe.  His little brother and cousins were all still eagerly awaiting the arrival of the Easter Bunny and to ruin that for them would be unforgivable.  He actually kneeled on the bed and saluted me.  "Yes Sir, Mam, Sir!"

This Easter came and went and Alex told me it was the best Easter ever.  I think that was the truth too, because not only did he get to do an Easter egg hunt and get a huge basket of candy but he got to see the whole thing from our perspective.  He got such a kick out of watching his brother and cousin enjoy the magic of Easter.

I guess I shouldn't worry so much about him growing up so fast.  He seems to be doing a pretty darn good job of it.  Good luck to the rest of you!

Michy

No TV, No Video Games . . . No Problem!

So, this past Sunday, the Lambert's unplugged.  After an entire Saturday of sitting on their behinds, playing Minecraft, you could practically see my boys mushy brains dripping out their ears.

Alex after too many video games

So, I decided that there would be no tv, no Wii or Wiiu, no iPods, no laptop, iPad or computer.  No nothing.

Did the boys freak?  No really.  They know me.  They knew there was no way they were gonna get to play video games for an entire day and not have to pay for that eventually.  They groaned a bit, but otherwise they understood.  In their defense, I could have told them to turn off the game, but they were getting along sooooooo nicely.  They were playing together, laughing, helping each other.  It was so nice just listening to them, I didn't want to wreck it.

So what to a 6 and an 8 year old do nowadays with no electronic stimulation?  Well apparently they don't get dressed.  The boys were running around in their undies all day.  They did however make it through playing Legos and Trios and Transformers, all before asking if they could please play Minecraft.  When I suggested I could get out their homework, they immediately found something else to do.  They played with the dogs, played Power Rangers, Furbies and chased each other around the house for a bit.  When they asked me again if they could please, please play some Minecraft, I suggested that if they were bored they could put away their laundry and make their beds.  They decided to do some crafts instead.

Now they day was not without a hitch.  There was a period of about an hour and a half, when I was upstairs working, that I noticed the kids were being awfully quiet.  I thought they were in the basement making forts out of the couch cushions.  I went down to take a peek and caught two boys red handed with Wii remotes in their hands.  They were smiling until they saw me.   Then they new they were screwed.  Each made a big production of how they had just forgot, (yeah, like I just fell off the turnip truck or something), and how sorry they were.  The good part was that they wasted at least an hour crying in their rooms, the bad part, they lost their electronics for Monday too!

So, after the toys and the tears have all been exhausted, and your little child brain has been without electronic stimulation for 9 hours, what do you do for fun?  Please try and picture this in your brain.

The boys come downstairs in Dad's boxer shorts, which they have stuffed full of stuffed animals.  They look like Kim Kardashian on butt steroids.  Then they proceed to bounce around the living room, shaking there booties to, "I Like To Move It, Move It".  By the time they were done, the floor was littered with stuffies and we were all busting a gut.  Swing over to my Facebook page to see the live video, (can't post it here because of all the pervs out there), or I can e-mail it to you.

So there you have it.  Two children in 2013 can survive a day, (and now 2) without electronics.  They played with toys, (you know, those things they begged you for at Christmas).  They made up some very creative dance numbers, and they got along together all day!  Life is good!

Give it a try.  I'd love to see what your kids come up with!  Maybe, one day, I'll be brave enough to try this with Jake.  I promise, if he stuffs his pants and dances around the living room, THAT video IS getting posted!!


Michy

Will and The Great Food Intolerance Debate

Gorgeous!!

So, I mentioned a few months back, that we had taken Will to a naturopathic doctor because of his food allergies, eczema and constant congestion. We had a blood test done to check for food sensitivities.  This is different from a food allergy test.  With an allergy test the lab is checking for a different type of reaction.  (I won't get into all the technical mumbo jumbo).  However, because they are testing for a different thing, the food sensitivity test may show that Will is not intolerant to certain foods we know he is allergic to.  Get it?

So, the results are in.  Turns out Will is only intolerant to, EVERYTHING!

He is extremely intolerant to dairy (all), gluten, wheat and most grains except for oats and rice; all meat but most especially red meat and pork and eggs.  He is also intolerant to soy, citrus fruit, tomatoes, garlic, onions, cauliflower, broccoli, lentils and soy.  On a high note he is not intolerant to peanuts or shellfish, the two things he is severely allergic to.  So, what's for dinner?

We were supposed to start weaning Will off these foods, one at a time at the rate of about one thing per week.  We wanted to see is he stoped eating dairy, for instance, would his congestion clear up.  It would be the first time in as long as I can remember that he wouldn't be plugged up.

So, week one, no dairy.  We really don't drink a lot of milk in our house.  The kids had no problem switching to almond milk or vanilla soy milk for their breakfast cereal.  I got some chocolate coconut milk for a treat.  It tastes exactly like regular chocolate milk!  We explained to Will that he could not have any more ice cream.  Surprisingly he was ok with that.  It was at dinner that night, when I told him he couldn't have any sour cream with his burrito, that he lost it.  I guess the kid really likes sour cream (who can blame him eh?).  Other big problems for Will was the no cheese pizza (just not the same) and the no cheese wiz.  He really likes cheese.

cheeseless pizza Mmmmmmm.

But he has survived so far, and for the first time in 6 years, he can breath through both nostrils at the same time.  We were driving home from A&W the other day and Will said, "Mom!  I can smell onion rings!  My nose is working!".  I almost cried!

So this week we are cutting back on gluten.  Really though, $7.00 for a tiny little loaf of bread?  Once you cut the crusts off for Mr. Fussypants, there's almost nothing left!  We'll see how far we go with this.   As long as his nose stays clear, I don't think we need to go too crazy.

Now, here is where the debate lies.  Will had an appointment last week with his regular allergy doctor.  He asked all the same questions as he always does. "Has he eaten this, has he eaten that, how is his asthma"?   I told him, "by the way, I had Will tested for food sensitivities".  He immediately shook his head.   "Oh, that test is no good", he said.  "Really"?  "No, no" he said.  All that test tells you is whether or not you've eaten those particular foods recently.  It's no good". Oh. I must admit I was feeling a tad deflated.  But then I said, "well, you know, since he stopped eating dairy his congestion has cleared right up".  He looked at me and actually said, "well if you want to believe that go ahead, but really, that test is no good".

                          VS      

So I started thinking about it. Does Will already eat a lot of those foods?  Is the test just telling me what he has eaten recently?  I mean, he does eat a lot of dairy and gluten and he scored really high on those, and he never eats fish and he scored really low on that.  Could it be that my precious food sensitivity test was a lot of bunk?

Then I thought a bit longer.  Once Will stopped eating dairy his congestion went away.  He scored very high for egg intolerance, however he never eats eggs.  Ever.  Not even in baked goods (I use egg replacer to make my baking vegan).  He also scored very high for meat.  We're VEGETARIANS!  We rarely have meat.   Will only has meat if we eat out. He scored really low for apples, but he eats them every day!  So I'm thinking the allergy doctors theory is blown to hell.

Not only that, but in the 4 years we've been seeing this allergy doctor, he has done absolutely nothing to help Will's congestion or his eczema.  Other than writing prescriptions  he has been useless.  Our Naturopath on the other had has fixed both problems.  No dairy and a teaspoon of fish oil a day has cleared up both problems.  Hmm.  Interesting.

So, even though there my be no ice cream in my immediate future, I am happy.  My baby has soft skin for the first time since he was born and he can smell onion rings.  What more could a mom want.

Here is a link to our Naturopath's website.  Dr. B is the bomb!naturalfoodpantry.ca/about-us/in-store.../dr-kevin-bernardo-nd/  Check him out.

Michy

Mom, Is There Any Reason Why Anyone Would Want to Have Sex?


Well, we all know it's coming.  That special chat between parents and children.  "The Birds and the Bees", "The Talk", call it what you will.  Most people don't want to even think about it.  The idea of explaining sex and puberty, and all of that, to young children, has parents racing to Chapters for the latest edition of "What's Happening to Me?" Ha!  You know it's true!

But not me, no sir.  I am prepared for this inevitable conversation!  I am willing to explain everything and anything my boys may want to know.  Everything from the basics, "How can I make this boner go away?", (quit playing with it), and "Why don't I have boobs"?. (because if you had your own you'd never talk to girls), to the more deep philosophical questions like, "How do I know if my girlfriend is a conniving, horny tramp"?, (they all are) and "How do I know if I'm ready to have sex?", (can you afford rent, insurance, food, clothing, furniture and a car because you ain't bringing no babies home to your mother)!   These, and all questions in between will be answered openly and directly.

So when Alex asked me the other night, why anyone would want to have sex, I immediately began to mentally prepare myself.

"Well, honey, yes I can think of some reasons, but why do you ask?"

"No reason.  I just don't know why anyone would want to do that."

Interesting . . . He's not getting off that easy.

"Well, where were you talking about sex"?

"Nowhere".

Uh huh.  Sure.

"Well did you see it on tv or something".

"No".

"Well honey, if you tell me what you heard, maybe I can explain it to you better".



So here's the low-down.  Alex was at a friends house for a sleepover and the two boys slept in the same bed.  Perfectly normal sleepover, I did it all the time when I was a kid.  Things took a turn for the goofy when, in typical boy behavior, his friend jumped on him and started humping him.  This may sound weird, but I know grown men who still do this to their friends.  Alex however is under the impression that he has just had sex.

How adorbs is that???  Kids!  They are too much!

Apparently he found the experience unsatisfactory, because he can't imagine why anyone would want to do that.  I explained to him that his friend was just being a goof and that they did not in fact have sex.  "To have sex", I said, "you need a man and a women".  After I said this I realized that in these modern times that is no longer true, but I wasn't going there yet.  "You also need to love each other very much because people have sex to make a baby, and if you're not ready to make a baby, you'd better keep yer pants on"!

So I thought, I'm getting off pretty easy here, but just to be sure I asked, "Do you want to know the gory details, or do you want to wait until your older?"

"Trust me Mom", he says, "I do not wanna know"!

Ha!  I guess I'm good for the next little while.  Feel free to share you Birds and Bees story in the comments section below!

Michy

Summertime Blues

Summer vacation just ain't what it used to be.  Or, maybe it's that kids just aren't what they used to be.  As a kids, I grew up with a river on one side of my house and a forest on the other side.  There was always something to explore or something to do.  Even though we didn't live near any of our friends, my sisters and I always managed to entertain ourselves.  We would play in the woods for hours, following trails and playing make-believe.  We would swim and fish and paddle around in our little rubber boats.  We had toys we actually played with, (toys that didn't connect to the television).  We would ride our bikes up and down highway 7 to and from town (2kms away) to play in the park or play baseball.  And we did all of this ON OUR OWN.  We did not need our parents hanging over our shoulders every minute of the day telling us what to do.  We were not enrolled in endless nights worth of structured activities.  Summer was our time.  So why is it then that my children seem to have no clue, and I mean none, about how to entertain themselves.

My eldest is currently standing directly behind me, staring at the computer screen.  He will do this until I suggest something else for him to do, or threaten him with no tv if he doesn't figure out somewhere else to be.  If I get up right now and go upstairs, within one minute there will be the sound of little feet following me up the stairs, into the kitchen, the living room, the bathroom, anywhere I go.  They will inevitably ask me eighty times if they can please turn the tv back on.  Pleeeeaaaasssseeeeee.  Or can they please play Wii or go on the iPad.  Forget the fact that there is currently about $500.00 worth of toys sitting in our living room.  My children consider playing with actual toys to be an absolute last resort for entertaining themselves.  Even though they begged and pleaded for each and every one of those toys, they seem to think of playing with them as just filler for the time in between cartoons.

Even when we're camping they don't seem to think there is anything to do.  They will sit there, surrounded by nature, with unlimited places to explore, look me straight in the eye and in the winiest possible voice declare how bored they are and how there is nothing to do.

I thought about signing Alex up for summer camps last year, but he said, "No!  I just want to spend my summer playing with my friends".  I thought this was great, until I realized something.  There are no friends in the summer.  With most families having two working parents almost all my kids friends spend their summers in summer camps or day care.  The streets and parks in our neighbourhood are empty in the summer months.  It's kinda creepy.

So, I'm rather at a loss for how to teach my kids to entertain themselves and to find the motivation to get out and do things on their own.  I never had to be told to go entertain myself, it just kind of happened.  So far they watched tv for four hours this morning.  FOUR HOURS!!!!  Then I turned it off.  We all cleaned our bedrooms, which took longer for some than for others.  They have played Lego and dinky cars and are currently in a war over who gets to use the downstairs bathroom first. (Alex won).  We have four more hours until dinnertime.  So far the only thing that gets them thinking on their own is when I tell them that if they're bored, there's always the homework books I bought.  As soon as I whip out the math books Alex disappears.

I wish!

Well, I'm off to see what my kids aren't doing.  It's quiet upstairs right now, so twenty to one says they've turned the tv back on or are hiding in a closet with the iPad.  Sigh.

Michy

Me and My Bronies

You know, we all have hopes and dreams for our children.  We try and teach them the right things and influence them in all the right ways.  But sometimes, life just throws you a curve ball.  Sometimes, despite all that you've taught them, your children will strike out on their own, and make up their own minds about they're own personal preferences and who they are going to be.  Well, my boys threw me just such a curve ball this week.  One I just didn't see coming, and I am struggling to adjust.

We are well into the second week of summer vacation and my children are trying to set a record for most tv watched during a single summer. (Go ahead all you better parents.  Judge.)  I have happily cleaned the house while listening to Phineas and Ferb; happily folded laundry while singing the theme song to Tough Puppy.  But this week, they got tired of watching their favourite shows.  They decided to watch something else and I walked in and caught them right in the act!!!!!  I caught them watching . . .  My Little Ponies: Friendship Magic.  That's right, my boys are Bronies!!!

Pray for me.


Taking a cue from their four year old cousin, Abigail (!!), the boys have become heavily invested this  cartoon about a group of little ponies who learn the ups and downs of being good friends.   They are loud and proud of their inclination towards these super coiffed equines.  Alex can even sing the whole theme song! 


I know I just have to accept it, them coming out like this. I tried.  Lord knows I tried to teach them.  Since Alex could talk we've been all about Batman and The Justice League and The Avengers.  Even Sponge Bob Squarepants.  But this??  I am at a loss.  Maybe it's just a phase.  Maybe by next week they'll be bored of Apple Jack and Rainbow Dash and Pinky Pie.  Or maybe, just maybe, I should sign them up with the International Brotherhood of Bronies and just let them be who they wanna be!

Michy

Will's 6th Birthday


Ok, this is just too cute not to share.  William just turned six.  For two months his father and I have been asking him what he wanted for his birthday.  If he was anything like his brother he would have asked for an ipad or a Nintendo DS or a new bike or something like that.  But, he is nothing like his brother, and the only thing he wanted for his birthday, was a "stuffy".  A big stuffed animal.  That's it.

Well, wish granted.  We got that boy the biggest, fluffiest, softiess stuffed animal we could find.  A massive teddy bear from Costco.  It's about the size (and shape) of Daddy.

Now, I couldn't just wrap him up like any old birthday present.  No, no, I had a better idea.  I put a huge bow on him and a note that said "Happy Birthday William",and placed him on the end of Will's bed after he fell asleep for the night.

Now, personally, if I woke up and saw this big fella on my bed first thing in the morning, I'd scream my head off.  But not Will.  He came in to my room and gave me the biggest, sweetest Birthday Boy hug ever and said, "I love my present".  And he does.  He named his bear Francis because I told him that he was the same size as Francis, the teenage boy next door.  And this is how Will sleeps now.  Giving over 2/3 of his bed to his favorite birthday present ever!

Michy

Will Visits a Naturopath

So Will, my sweet baby boy has some issues.  Asthma, food allergies and eczema. The trifecta as it were.  These three conditions often go hand in hand.  He has also be congested for the last two years straight.  He's on meds for his asthma and he has an Epi Pen for peanut emergencies, but his eczema is always present and his nose is always plugged.  I believe that these problems can be solved, but the doctors he's been seeing seem to brush them off with a shrug of the shoulders.  They seem to think as long as he doesn't have an anaphylactic  reaction to something he's fine.  I disagree.  I don't think having scabby skin and not being able to breath out your nose supports a great quality of life.

So I have made Will an appointment with a Naturopathic Doctor.  I am very excited.  I'm a big believer in naturopathic medicine and the body's ability to heal itself.  I truly believe food is the best medicine, (no, not a tub of Ben and Jerry's to fix your depression, but real whole food). I am looking very forward to picking this guys brain.   But first, the awful part.  The Patient Intake Questionnaire.  The doctor e-mailed me his seven page intake questionnaire, full of questions about Will's general health and lifestyle.  Now I know I'm not in the running for the Mother of the Year Award, but if you ever want to feel like a total failure as mother, try answering some of these questions;

How would you describe your child's temperament and behavior at school?  Ok.  We do pretty good at this this one.  Will's pretty awesome.  Except when he's being surly or lazy or having a temper tantrum or being stubborn.  He's doing great at school, never been in trouble.

What is your child's favorite activity?  Um.  Watching tv?  I mean there are other things, but if we're being honest.

How much television does your child watch per day/week?  Oh Gad!  Do I have to answer this??  Is there like, some magical number where if you're over it they call CAS??  If I'm honest, on most week days, it's about 3 1/2 hours a day.  That's probably low balling it too.  1/2 hour before school, maybe two hours after school depending on the weather and if there are any friends outside to play with and then if Jake declares it one of his many, many "Movie Nights", another two hours on top of that.  We won't even get into the weekend.  Oh God, I am a horrible Mother!  Can this get any worse?

Does you child exercise regularly?  Define "regularly".

Do you know of any toxins or other hazards you child is regularly exposed to?  Aside from the 25 year old carpet in our house and the mold in the bathroom ceiling?  No.

And worst of all, how would you rate your child's diet?  Oh shit.  No, that's how I would describe his diet.  Now, that's not all the time.  We're about 50/50 around here for eating great and eating crap I wouldn't give my dogs.

Let's take a look at this weekends menu.  Breakfast:  Will had pancakes with syrup, bacon, ham and sausage, (he hasn't quite picked up on being a vegetarian).   For lunch, (at his birthday party), he had a big ol' greasy slice of cheese pizza, a bag of chips and an apple juice, and let's not forget a big slice of marble cake.  Dinner was the best though.  Daddy brought home a bucket of KFC.  Fried chicken, popcorn chicken and chicken fingers with fries and gravy.  I can't believe no one had a heart attack.  I did't eat any chicken, but it wasn't because I held myself to any higher standard.  I had a Taco Bell 7 Layer Burrito and Nachos Supreme without the beef type substance.

I have to say, going over what your kids ate in the last 48 hours is a real eye opener.   I am really curious what the Doctor is going to make of all this.  I'll let ya know.  In the mean time, turn off that Barney show and give your kid a carrot stick!

Michy

Balloon Boy!

So, I try not to ramble on too much about how awesome my kids are, but sometimes I just can't hep myself.  Today was Alex's grade two class talent show.  He was not feeling real good today.  He was complaining of a stomach ache, but he wanted to go do his part of the talent show, so off he went.  Like a proud Mama, I went to watch and when I got to the class, Alex wasn't looking so good.  He stomach was still aching and his teacher said he was real quiet all morning.  She said, "you know when Alex is quiet, something must be wrong".  So true.

But, the show must go on!  They moved Alex to the first spot so he could leave early if he needed to.  He got up, look center stage and this is what he did.   Allow me to preface this by saying no one taught him to do this and he didn't read the instructions in a book.  He reverse engineered it from one that his Dad made for his brother.  Amazing!

And what a little showman too!  About ten minutes after this performance he was barfing his guts out in the teacher's bathroom!  What a trooper!

So there you have it.  Bragging moment over.  You can go back to your day.

Michy

Field Trippin'

Field Trippin'


Ever been to the Canadian Museum of Nature?  It's four floors of nature-y goodness for kids to explore.  Dinosaurs, oceans, rocks, bugs, mammals, all kinds of interesting things to see.  And, it was the location of William's class field trip for this year.  And Alex's.  Oh no, not on the same day.  Will, Thursday and Alex Friday.  And of course they needed parent volunteers.

Now I'm usually available and I love to do that sort of thing, so of course I volunteered.  It never really occurred to me that I'd be going to the same place two days in a row.  The night before Will's field trip I spent honking my guts up in the bathroom.  Some kind of horrible indigestion, so I did not get the requisite number of hours of sleep required to handle 30 super excited kinder-gardeners.   It went very well though.  It's amazing how exciting a two million year old dinosaur poop fossil is to a 5 year old!

Will and the Dino Poop!

But by the end of the day the kids weren't the only ones in need of a nap.  I crawled into my bed the instant I got home to try and make up some sleep, but Bernie and Scrappy (dogs) decided that my nap time was the perfect time to practice their MMA skills on my bed.

I was starting to think that re-doing the museum the next day was not going to be much fun.  Time for Daddy to step in.  I offered Jake one million dollars to go in my place.  No dice.  I don't think he believed I had the money.  I guess I'd have to go after all, (insert very loud, long groan here).  Now you may ask, did I get a good nights sleep before the second trip?   Of course not!  It was after 11:30 when I finally dragged my butt to bed, so I was still exhausted by the time trip number two started.  Up and down all those stairs!  It was like a Buns of Steel workout!  The trip itself wasn't as boring as I thought it would be, probably because the kids I was with were really great and funny, but man, when I got home I was dunnzo.

Me, Dunnzo

I will not be back to the Museum of Nature for a very loooonnnggggg time.  Turns out though, that my boys really enjoyed it, so maybe will add a couple other museums to our agenda this summer.  I'll let ya know how they go.  Now I'm going the ef to sleep!!

Michy

But Why Can't We Have It?? - Teaching the Kiddos About Money

I am sure just about everyone with children has, at one time or another, (or in our case, every time we are out), heard the whiney strains of, "please, please, please Mom!  Please Dad!  I want it, please!  I'll do my chores every day!  I'll clean my room!  Pleeeeeeeeease". 

This annoying begging and pleading isn't just for the big stuff.  Everything, from a crappy toy at the Dollarama to an XBox 360 elicits the same cry.  Now there are two main ways to respond to this situation.  1.  "In the name of all that is holy if it will shut you up, ok"! or 2. "No".  This is followed by angry allegations that you are the worst parent on the planet, that you "just don't understand", and a complete rundown of all the other kids whose parents are much cooler than you because they all bought their children "x".  For parents of really young children this barrage is often followed by a thrashing, screaming meltdown in a very public place.

Well, guess what kiddos, things cost money!  You know, money? 

 Oh wait, you don't know.  That's because you don't have a "job" and you don't "earn" money and therefore have no concept of how much work is required to get money or how quickly it can be spent.  Well, my boys are gonna start learning early.  The last thing you want is for kids leaving for college with no concept of earning, saving, spending, consumer debt and the value of money.  My kids think that the bank machine is a magical machine that just gives you money because you ask for it. They never see money go in, only come out.  They never see bills being paid.  They think the house, the electricity and the cable come for free.  Ha!

So.  This week Alex and Will and Mommy went to the bank and the boys opened their very first bank accounts.  My, my were they ever proud!  They were super excited to get a bank card to put in their wallets and to have a "super secret PIN code". They felt like quite the proper young men.  It was pretty cute actually.  I am linked to their accounts so that I can transfer their weekly allowance directly into their account, thus avoiding the eighty pounds of loonies and townies I used to have to carry around to stuff in piggy banks.

So here is the method I have devised to teach the boys about the value of a dollar:

1.  Every day, if you do your chores, (make bed, clean room, brush teeth, put away laundry), you get $1.00.

2.  If you fail to do all (not some) of these chores, or you do a half ass job, you do not get your $1.00.

Kids can be very sneaky about this.  My 5 year old can make a bed well enough to please a army drill instructor, so if I see lumps and bumps and pillows everywhere, no dollar.

My children both know where the clothes go, so if I see underwear, jeans, socks and pajamas all crammed into the same drawer, no dollar.  And don't think I don't know that you haven't used toothpaste to brush your teeth.  I played all these games with my parents when I was a kid.  I cannot be fooled!

3.  Once a week (Saturday), I will go online and transfer the proper amount of earned allowance into each boys bank account.  They can check online to watch their money grow.  If they want something and they have enough money, they can take their bank card to the store and buy it.  No money, no toy.

You would think that this would be the ultimate incentive for the kids, but let me tell you, nothing encourages them to earn and save their money, like watching their sibling go to the store and buy something and play with it in front of you while you get nothing because you did not do your chores and earn any money.  There can be a real urge to buy something small for the errant child but let me warn you, DON'T DO IT!!  Ignore those teary puppy dog eyes and cries of "that's not fair"!  They made their bed (or didn't), now they can lay in it, and I guarantee they will run home and finish those chores in 5 minutes!

One of the most interesting parts of this lesson is when kids start to realize how much things cost and just how long they will have to work to earn enough money.  If you give a kid ten bucks and set them loose at Toys R Us, there is almost nothing they can buy.  Don't forget, they have to pay tax too. (NO, you cannot cover the tax for them)!  Anything they do find will be a cheap piece of crap that will break as soon as they get it home, thus wasting the ten bucks they could have saved for something really cool.

 

So that's what we're doin'.  Lemme know if you have a great tip for teaching kids about money.  I always love to hear from you!

Michy