Mmmmmmm!

Check out this vegan Blueberry/Lemon Cream Tart I made!  Pretty eh?

Michy

Is Your Glass Half Full?

Are you a glass half full or glass half empty kind of person?  I've been thinking about this a lot lately.  I've been getting a lot of flack for the way I live my life, and I am perplexed.  I am a very positive, happy person.  I have my bad days, sure, who doesn't, but overall I wake up ever single morning with a fresh outlook and, (after my morning caffeine jolt), a smile on my face.  So why, I ask, am I such an easy target for cruelty and negativity?

As most of you know, I am a new entrepreneur.  I have started my own business.  I have never been so excited.  As an Arbonne Consultant I get to work with a company that holds true to values I hold dear, like environmental stewardship, kind treatment of animals and the elimination of toxins from our beauty and health products.  I get to meet new people everyday who care about these things too.  I get to talk health and beauty all day long!  Plus I get paid, and I still get to stay home and raise my children.  You couldn't ask for a better job!  So why then, am I constantly having to defend my business decision to people?  I spent 20 minutes at lunch with a friend the other day, listening to her tell me all the things that could go wrong and why this was all just a bad idea. "But good luck", she said, "I'm sure you'll do fine".

Fine? Fine?  I'll do better than fine!  How could I not do AMAZING?!  I'm working for myself, with a company that is amazing to it's workforce.  I'll be putting my kids through college and driving them there in my sweet-ass Mercedes thank you very much.  Plus I'll be helping to give my clients the very best they could have in good health and beauty.   How could anyone be so negative or discouraging?  Take a happy pill for heavens sake!  I just couldn't live with a little black cloud hanging over my head like that.

Likewise, I seem to make a very easy target for hate and cruelty because of my weight.  I was always the biggest girl in our family.  By that, I mean I was average and everyone else was a toothpick.  I remember constant comparisons.  I remember one time, when I was in high school, I was working in my front yard when a group of kids walked by and one of them said, "Hey, is that Liz's sister"? And the reply was, "No.  Liz's sister is fat"?  Well, kudos to me for fooling them, but I wonder where they heard that.

When I lost a lot of weight in college, (thanks to not having a car and clubbing every night), I went home for a holiday and my new figure was all anyone could talk about.  A soon as I opened the fridge to get a snack, I was warned, "You'll gain all that weight back if you pig out".

I have twice, been yelled at out of car windows that I was too fat.  Thanks goodness they told me. I might not have known.  Recently a co-worker was looking at my wedding album.  Her first comment, "Wow, you were so thin back then"!  I have had my fitness magazines scribbled on that I should, "keep dreamin'".  And most recently I was once again reminded by my own family just how overweight I am and how much I need to loose "some major pounds".  "Just being honest, what do you want me to lie?"

Guess what people.  I am aware of the situation.  Regular readers of my blog know that I write about my health and fitness goals all the time, with a sense of humor.  I DO NOT care to hear your negative two cents.  If you are so unhappy with your life, write a journal, don't try and bring me down, because you can't.

I am the luckiest woman alive!  I have an amazing husband, who just rolls with my various health kicks, two amazing children how tell me how beautiful I am every day, two amazing dogs who think I am the greatest human EVER.  I have a college degree, had a great career and now, I am my own boss.  I don't live my life in the shadows.  I get out there!  I meet people and I have fun!  When I wake up in the morning I don't say, "Oh God, it's morning"!  I say, "Good morning God"!  My first thought isn't, what's gonna go wrong today?  It's "which of my beautiful kids am I gonna get to kiss first this morning"?

You know where I'll be ten years from now?  I'll be a happy wife and mother, millionaire driving around in a benz convertible while my beautiful skin glows in the sun and my beautiful hair blows in the wind and I might, just might, be back in my size six jeans.  Where will you be?

Michy

Will and The Great Food Intolerance Debate

Gorgeous!!

So, I mentioned a few months back, that we had taken Will to a naturopathic doctor because of his food allergies, eczema and constant congestion. We had a blood test done to check for food sensitivities.  This is different from a food allergy test.  With an allergy test the lab is checking for a different type of reaction.  (I won't get into all the technical mumbo jumbo).  However, because they are testing for a different thing, the food sensitivity test may show that Will is not intolerant to certain foods we know he is allergic to.  Get it?

So, the results are in.  Turns out Will is only intolerant to, EVERYTHING!

He is extremely intolerant to dairy (all), gluten, wheat and most grains except for oats and rice; all meat but most especially red meat and pork and eggs.  He is also intolerant to soy, citrus fruit, tomatoes, garlic, onions, cauliflower, broccoli, lentils and soy.  On a high note he is not intolerant to peanuts or shellfish, the two things he is severely allergic to.  So, what's for dinner?

We were supposed to start weaning Will off these foods, one at a time at the rate of about one thing per week.  We wanted to see is he stoped eating dairy, for instance, would his congestion clear up.  It would be the first time in as long as I can remember that he wouldn't be plugged up.

So, week one, no dairy.  We really don't drink a lot of milk in our house.  The kids had no problem switching to almond milk or vanilla soy milk for their breakfast cereal.  I got some chocolate coconut milk for a treat.  It tastes exactly like regular chocolate milk!  We explained to Will that he could not have any more ice cream.  Surprisingly he was ok with that.  It was at dinner that night, when I told him he couldn't have any sour cream with his burrito, that he lost it.  I guess the kid really likes sour cream (who can blame him eh?).  Other big problems for Will was the no cheese pizza (just not the same) and the no cheese wiz.  He really likes cheese.

cheeseless pizza Mmmmmmm.

But he has survived so far, and for the first time in 6 years, he can breath through both nostrils at the same time.  We were driving home from A&W the other day and Will said, "Mom!  I can smell onion rings!  My nose is working!".  I almost cried!

So this week we are cutting back on gluten.  Really though, $7.00 for a tiny little loaf of bread?  Once you cut the crusts off for Mr. Fussypants, there's almost nothing left!  We'll see how far we go with this.   As long as his nose stays clear, I don't think we need to go too crazy.

Now, here is where the debate lies.  Will had an appointment last week with his regular allergy doctor.  He asked all the same questions as he always does. "Has he eaten this, has he eaten that, how is his asthma"?   I told him, "by the way, I had Will tested for food sensitivities".  He immediately shook his head.   "Oh, that test is no good", he said.  "Really"?  "No, no" he said.  All that test tells you is whether or not you've eaten those particular foods recently.  It's no good". Oh. I must admit I was feeling a tad deflated.  But then I said, "well, you know, since he stopped eating dairy his congestion has cleared right up".  He looked at me and actually said, "well if you want to believe that go ahead, but really, that test is no good".

                          VS      

So I started thinking about it. Does Will already eat a lot of those foods?  Is the test just telling me what he has eaten recently?  I mean, he does eat a lot of dairy and gluten and he scored really high on those, and he never eats fish and he scored really low on that.  Could it be that my precious food sensitivity test was a lot of bunk?

Then I thought a bit longer.  Once Will stopped eating dairy his congestion went away.  He scored very high for egg intolerance, however he never eats eggs.  Ever.  Not even in baked goods (I use egg replacer to make my baking vegan).  He also scored very high for meat.  We're VEGETARIANS!  We rarely have meat.   Will only has meat if we eat out. He scored really low for apples, but he eats them every day!  So I'm thinking the allergy doctors theory is blown to hell.

Not only that, but in the 4 years we've been seeing this allergy doctor, he has done absolutely nothing to help Will's congestion or his eczema.  Other than writing prescriptions  he has been useless.  Our Naturopath on the other had has fixed both problems.  No dairy and a teaspoon of fish oil a day has cleared up both problems.  Hmm.  Interesting.

So, even though there my be no ice cream in my immediate future, I am happy.  My baby has soft skin for the first time since he was born and he can smell onion rings.  What more could a mom want.

Here is a link to our Naturopath's website.  Dr. B is the bomb!naturalfoodpantry.ca/about-us/in-store.../dr-kevin-bernardo-nd/  Check him out.

Michy

Mom, Is There Any Reason Why Anyone Would Want to Have Sex?


Well, we all know it's coming.  That special chat between parents and children.  "The Birds and the Bees", "The Talk", call it what you will.  Most people don't want to even think about it.  The idea of explaining sex and puberty, and all of that, to young children, has parents racing to Chapters for the latest edition of "What's Happening to Me?" Ha!  You know it's true!

But not me, no sir.  I am prepared for this inevitable conversation!  I am willing to explain everything and anything my boys may want to know.  Everything from the basics, "How can I make this boner go away?", (quit playing with it), and "Why don't I have boobs"?. (because if you had your own you'd never talk to girls), to the more deep philosophical questions like, "How do I know if my girlfriend is a conniving, horny tramp"?, (they all are) and "How do I know if I'm ready to have sex?", (can you afford rent, insurance, food, clothing, furniture and a car because you ain't bringing no babies home to your mother)!   These, and all questions in between will be answered openly and directly.

So when Alex asked me the other night, why anyone would want to have sex, I immediately began to mentally prepare myself.

"Well, honey, yes I can think of some reasons, but why do you ask?"

"No reason.  I just don't know why anyone would want to do that."

Interesting . . . He's not getting off that easy.

"Well, where were you talking about sex"?

"Nowhere".

Uh huh.  Sure.

"Well did you see it on tv or something".

"No".

"Well honey, if you tell me what you heard, maybe I can explain it to you better".



So here's the low-down.  Alex was at a friends house for a sleepover and the two boys slept in the same bed.  Perfectly normal sleepover, I did it all the time when I was a kid.  Things took a turn for the goofy when, in typical boy behavior, his friend jumped on him and started humping him.  This may sound weird, but I know grown men who still do this to their friends.  Alex however is under the impression that he has just had sex.

How adorbs is that???  Kids!  They are too much!

Apparently he found the experience unsatisfactory, because he can't imagine why anyone would want to do that.  I explained to him that his friend was just being a goof and that they did not in fact have sex.  "To have sex", I said, "you need a man and a women".  After I said this I realized that in these modern times that is no longer true, but I wasn't going there yet.  "You also need to love each other very much because people have sex to make a baby, and if you're not ready to make a baby, you'd better keep yer pants on"!

So I thought, I'm getting off pretty easy here, but just to be sure I asked, "Do you want to know the gory details, or do you want to wait until your older?"

"Trust me Mom", he says, "I do not wanna know"!

Ha!  I guess I'm good for the next little while.  Feel free to share you Birds and Bees story in the comments section below!

Michy

Hey There! Remember Me?

Ok.  So it would appear that the fall ran away with me.  I have been terrible remiss in writing and posting, and not because of a lack of inspiration!

So I'd better get busy.  Coming up . . . Alex and Mom have a chat about sex; Halloween on a budget; Will get's back his food sensitivity test results; and Michy starts a new business.  You will see an All new tab for posts about my new business as an Independent Consultant for Arbonne Canada.  I could not be more excited!!

So keep checking in.  It will only get better!

Michy

My Do-over Needs a Do-over!

Ok.  So in my defence I was on vacation.  An awful lot of time was spent in the kitchen.  Cooking, eating and cleaning.  It's not so much what I ate.  We ate really good.  It was more a problem how much I ate.  While my sister in law ate one waffle for breakfast, I ate four.  Plus fruit.  Also, my bike ride every day didn't exactly work out, although I did bike a lot, it wasn't the mega ride I had planned for every day.

We also went to New York for a couple of days and had to eat out every meal.  Not only did I eat fattening, sugary restaurant food, I even ate meat!!  Ick.  Damn, why is it so yummy?

So, this week I absolutely, positively must get my s**t together.  I'll let you know as soon as I figure this all out!  Suggestions are welcome.

Michy

Do-Over!

Ok.  So I need a do-over of my cleanse.  True to my self, I kinda, sorta cheated on my planned week long cleanse.  I completed about two days of it as planned.  Then there was dinners out and camping and a whole bunch of other stuff that threw me off track.  I even ate meat this week (camping), which I have not done in forever, and guh, am I paying for it.  I feel like crap.

So, a do-over is in order.  I will succeed!!    I will also continue with my 5 cups of green tea a day and my mindful eating.  Here we go.

First thing tomorrow morning.

Michy

PS.  If you need me, I'll probably be in the bathroom!

Update:

First ride down.  There is currently a bag of frozen rhubarb on my shoulder.  Apparently my clavicle didn't appreciate the bumpy ride.  I think I need to alter my route a bit.  There is no bike lane on Eagleson Road and I was passed by not one, but four eighteen wheelers, thundering past me, two feet away, at about 100km/h.  Yikes.

This Weeks Goal

So.  I need to decide on my next health/fitness goal.  I've got my 5 cups of green tea a day and my mindful eating down pretty good and I'm re-doing my cleanse, so what next.  Ah yes, I have yet to tackle anything "fitness" related.  In truth that is because I find exercise to be a painful and unpleasant experience that usually results in days of pain.

The reason for this is that I am super competitive.  Even if I'm just working out by myself, I always want to prove to myself that I can to better than the guy or gal next to me.  I get very intense in the weight room.  I focus on using perfect form and lifting as much as I can, (which is quite a  lot if I do say so myself).  The problem is, when you only do this once every month and a half, you pay for it with muscle pain that is incredibly bad and lasts a good two to three days. Ow.

My last workout was . . . , well let's see, I re-broke my collarbone just before Canada Day, and it was probably a least a week before that, so let's say mid June.  It's now the end of July.  I'd better start off slowly.  I can't work my upper body yet, so my focus will have to be where I never want anyone to focus, my lower half.

(not my actual butt)

I used to love wearing mini skirts.  Now I don't even want to wear shorts in public!  Is it possible to have fat knees?  It must be, cause I have em!  

Lets get to work shall we?  My research has determined that a mix of cardio and strength training are the key to getting the best results.  Cardio is tricky.  I don't belong to a gym, but I suppose I have a couple options open.  Jogging, biking or elliptical.   Ok, let's just nix jogging right now.  I hate jogging.  I have informed all my neighbours that if they see me running they'd better call 911, cause I'm probably on fire.  That leaves biking or the dusty, never used elliptical machine I got from my mother, who also never used it, but who got it for free from another girl who never used it.  Hmmmmmm.  I'm sensing a trend.  Let's save that one for emergencies.  The good news is I LOVE BIKING!!!  I love it.  I love my bike, Tessa.  I'm like a girl Pee Wee Herman.

Sweet!

So, I have plotted out a 9.5km route and I will attempt to do this route every morning for the next seven days.  I will probably have to wake up early to get this in, but that's ok.  I guess.  No actually it really sucks, but oh well.  Hopefully it will give me an energy boost for the rest of the day.  That would be nice.  Then, later on in the day I will tackle one of the all time most effective lower body moves, the walking lunge.  I will do forty walking lunges.  Twenty up my hallway and twenty back.  That ought to be good enough, (for now).  

I'll let ya know.

Michy

Summertime Blues

Summer vacation just ain't what it used to be.  Or, maybe it's that kids just aren't what they used to be.  As a kids, I grew up with a river on one side of my house and a forest on the other side.  There was always something to explore or something to do.  Even though we didn't live near any of our friends, my sisters and I always managed to entertain ourselves.  We would play in the woods for hours, following trails and playing make-believe.  We would swim and fish and paddle around in our little rubber boats.  We had toys we actually played with, (toys that didn't connect to the television).  We would ride our bikes up and down highway 7 to and from town (2kms away) to play in the park or play baseball.  And we did all of this ON OUR OWN.  We did not need our parents hanging over our shoulders every minute of the day telling us what to do.  We were not enrolled in endless nights worth of structured activities.  Summer was our time.  So why is it then that my children seem to have no clue, and I mean none, about how to entertain themselves.

My eldest is currently standing directly behind me, staring at the computer screen.  He will do this until I suggest something else for him to do, or threaten him with no tv if he doesn't figure out somewhere else to be.  If I get up right now and go upstairs, within one minute there will be the sound of little feet following me up the stairs, into the kitchen, the living room, the bathroom, anywhere I go.  They will inevitably ask me eighty times if they can please turn the tv back on.  Pleeeeaaaasssseeeeee.  Or can they please play Wii or go on the iPad.  Forget the fact that there is currently about $500.00 worth of toys sitting in our living room.  My children consider playing with actual toys to be an absolute last resort for entertaining themselves.  Even though they begged and pleaded for each and every one of those toys, they seem to think of playing with them as just filler for the time in between cartoons.

Even when we're camping they don't seem to think there is anything to do.  They will sit there, surrounded by nature, with unlimited places to explore, look me straight in the eye and in the winiest possible voice declare how bored they are and how there is nothing to do.

I thought about signing Alex up for summer camps last year, but he said, "No!  I just want to spend my summer playing with my friends".  I thought this was great, until I realized something.  There are no friends in the summer.  With most families having two working parents almost all my kids friends spend their summers in summer camps or day care.  The streets and parks in our neighbourhood are empty in the summer months.  It's kinda creepy.

So, I'm rather at a loss for how to teach my kids to entertain themselves and to find the motivation to get out and do things on their own.  I never had to be told to go entertain myself, it just kind of happened.  So far they watched tv for four hours this morning.  FOUR HOURS!!!!  Then I turned it off.  We all cleaned our bedrooms, which took longer for some than for others.  They have played Lego and dinky cars and are currently in a war over who gets to use the downstairs bathroom first. (Alex won).  We have four more hours until dinnertime.  So far the only thing that gets them thinking on their own is when I tell them that if they're bored, there's always the homework books I bought.  As soon as I whip out the math books Alex disappears.

I wish!

Well, I'm off to see what my kids aren't doing.  It's quiet upstairs right now, so twenty to one says they've turned the tv back on or are hiding in a closet with the iPad.  Sigh.

Michy

Sleep is for Pussies

First off, I’d like to thank the absolute total friggin turd bags that work at Little Caesar’s here in Kanata for making last night possible.  It’s amazing to think that with all their not quite high school education, they are still not aware that pepperoni needs to be refrigerated. 

(Douchebag)

So, last night for dinner I made this amazing Asian vegetable stir fry with brown rice, which was really good, but which, as I made it, I knew my kids wouldn’t eat.  Not wanting to have to listen to their daily review of healthy food as “disgusting”, and “gross”, and to hear the vows of, “I am not eating that”, and that wails of, “you only made this because you hate me”, I asked my hubby to pick the kids up something on his way home from work.  "Surprise me", I said when he asked what he should get. 

So he brought home a medium pepperoni pizza from Little Caesar’s, a supposed “great deal” at only $5.99.  Pretty good, I thought.  The kids gobbled it down like it was ambrosia or something.  Within twenty minutes the whole pizza was gone!  About an hour later the trouble started.

Will started complaining of a stomach ache.  Not really an unusual thing.  Kids are always complaining about stomach aches.  He spent the night curled up on the couch, watching tv, willing himself to feel better.  By bedtime, Alex had a stomach ache too.

11:30pm:             “Moooooommmmmmmmmyyyyy!!!!!”

                           “Mmmm.  What Will?”

                           “I threw up in my bed. Whaaaaaaaaa!”

                            (Jake kicks me), “Will needs his bed changed”.

                            Sigh. “Ok, I’m coming”.

Turns out he had only thrown up a little bit on his bed sheet, so I changed it, threw his comforter back on and tucked him back in.  Lots of hugs and kisses and shmoopy shmoo, and I crawled back into my bed.

2:30am                 “Aaaaaarrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhhh!  Yuuurrrrrkkkkkk!  Moooommmmmmyyyyy!”

                             (Jake kicks me)

                             Sigh.  “Coming”.

Well, this time he’s really done it.  There is barf everywhere.  All over his comforter, his sheets, his blankie and himself.  Oh yeah, and all over his bedroom carpet.  Fuuuuccckkk!  Now I’m pissed, but one look at his pathetic little puke covered face and I can’t stay mad.  I dragged him to the bathroom and tossed him in the shower and then proceeded to strip his bed and attempt to clean his carpet.  I cannot fully describe in writing how disgusting this job was.  It was at this point, staring at my child’s vomit, that I realized Little Caesar’s was to blame, (Will’s not a great chewer).

I get Will back to sleep and crawl blearily back to my own bed.  Sleeping is a challenge at the best of times lately because of my broken collarbone, but apparently fate didn’t think I had enough to deal with last night and decided to throw a painful butt cramp my way.  Nice.

7:00am                 “Mooooooommmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyyyy”!

                             (Jake kicks me.  Again.)

                            “Whhaaaaat”?

                            “I barfed!”

I went into the bathroom and there is Alex, sitting on the toilet with a huge puddle of barf on the floor at his feet.  The identical barf his brother produced I might add, thank you Little Caesar’s.

One roll of paper towels, two bathmats and one shower later Alex was back in bed and I made my way back to my bed, again.  The entire top floor of our house smelled like barf.  Swell.

So there you have it.  Who needs sleep anyway?  Sleep is for pussies.  I mean really, check out this picture of me from this morning.  

Clearly I do just fine with no sleep.  Now, I think I’ll  just   zz zzzz zz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Michy

PS.  Both boys are fine now (3:00pm). Oh yeah, and I stepped in dog poo in my bare feet.  GREAT day!

Today's juice:  Apple Orange Kale.  Mmmmm.

Cleanse Anyone?

So, if you read my last post, you had to know there was no way I was gonna receive a colon cleanse and not talk about it to the whole world.  So here goes.

This week, for my focus on healthier living, I am doing a cleanse.  I've done these many times before.  Some were pretty good and some were freaking awful.  The worst one being an all juice cleanse where, for two weeks I was supposed to drink nothing but green veggie juice.  That wasn't the bad part.  The veggie juice wasn't bad.  The problem was that the cleanse worked too well, too quickly.

Let me tell you something.  Our bodies (and by "our", I mean the average Canadian), are absolute cesspools.  We eat crap all day and night, we drink alcohol and sugary soda, we don't exercise, we are exposed to any number of toxins that we either breath in, absorb through our skin or ingest directly from our food.  If our bodies were cities, they'd look like the ghetto that was built right next to the garbage dump.

Here's the kicker though.  Our bodies like it this way.  They are comfortable and cozy.  They are wrapped up in the Snuggie of our bad habits, snoozing on the couch of our inactivity and they are happy.  When you do a cleanse, you are sending in the Molly Maids and seriously disrupting your bodies status quo. And you body gets pissed.  When I did the veggie juice cleanse and I was literally incapacitated.  The first thing to hit was a massive, MASSIVE efing headache.  It lasted three to four days.  This is your bodies way of dealing with caffeine withdrawal, (among other things).  Anyone who says, "Oh, caffeine has no affect on me",  I double dog dare you to go one week without any.  No coffee, no tea, no Diet Coke.  You will get a very rude awakening to just how much caffeine affects you.

The next thing to hit was exhaustion.  It's like your body is using all it's energy flushing toxins out of you, and it has no more energy to spare for ANYTHING.  I couldn't keep my eyes open.  I just wanted to lie in bed forever.  It kinda felt like having the flu.

So, does that sound fun?  Anyone wanna try it?  Don't worry.  It's not really that bad.  That was just an extremely quick, albeit effective cleanse.  This time I am taking a more conservative path.  For one week I will be following this plan:

Breakfast:  Protein smoothie

Snacks:  raw fruits & veggies and homemade veggie and fruit juice. Today's juice was apple, orange, carrot, beet.  It was delish.

Lunch:  a really good salad, with veggies, fruit, nuts and beans.

Snack:  same as above

Dinner:  Cooked veggies, beans, legumes, whole grains.  For example, roasted veggies over brown rice.  A stir fry also works.

I am also continuing with my five cups of green tea habit, but I'm adding a couple teaspoons of Benefiber to each cup and I'm taking my Arbonne Colon Cleanse supplement, just to help things move along.

Day one is done and I'm feeling pretty good so far.  Hopefully it stays that way.  I shall keep you updated and please feel free to do your own cleanse and let me know how it goes by leaving your comments below.  Now, if you need me, I'll be in the bathroom.

Michy

Just One More Embarrassing Day

Just when I think I've got everything down pat, I get tripped up again by the most embarrassing of situations. I was expecting company this afternoon. Roanne, my lovely Arbonne consultant, was stopping by to drop off  a colon cleanse for me, so I decided to make sure I didn't look like crap. (OMG!  It took me two more sentences to notice the pun here!)  I did my hair, had my makeup all nice.  I even tidied up the front hall so she wouldn't know how messy my house is.  I was prepared for my guest.

So Roanne shows up, we have a great little chat for about fifteen minutes and then, bing, bong, another friend is at my door to drop something off.  So Roanne takes off and I chat it up with Jenn for a few.  Just as Jenn is getting into her car to leave, I brushed my hand across my stomach, and realized, to my horror, that the zipper of my shorts was gaping wide open!!!

Not, like, halfway down, or down, but it was hard to tell; I mean flipping, gaping wide open with a big ol' pooch of beige panties popping out!  Dear, sweet Jesus!  Will I never stop humiliating myself?  I yelled to Jenn, "OMG!  Was my zipper open this whole time"?

"Yes.  Yes it was.  See ya!"

Great.  Well, at least I'm memorable.  No.  No, that really doesn't make it any better.

Michy

Very mindfully just ate two donuts.  On my second tea of the day.

Mindful Eating Anyone? 

Well, I've been sucking back the green tea everyday. How about you?  Not that difficult.  There was maybe one day where I didn't get it all finished.  This is a healthy change I'm gonna stick with.   Every time I looked in the fridge and saw the Diet Coke I closed it back up and said, "No, no.  You haven't finished your tea today".

This week I'm focusing on a topic that really concerns me, and not just because of my misophoina.  It has to do with eating habits.  Mindful Eating is a term which basically means paying attention while you eat.  Paying attention to what is in your mouth, how much is in you mouth, how you chew and how you swallow etc.  I cannot tell you how many times I have watched my husband people inhale food so fast it's a wonder if they even tasted it.  They get a glazed look in their eyes and just keep tossing food in.  They don't even finish one mouthful before putting in the next.  I catch myself doing it all the time.  Especially with snack foods like chips.  One just follows the other right past my lips while I focus on True Blood instead of the delicious crispy goodness in my mouth.

Shoveling in food without properly chewing can cause the worst kinds of indigestion and stomach upset ever!  Even my kids don't chew!  One time my son threw up and I could clearly identify all the food that he had eaten in the previous 5 hours!  None of it was chewed!  Gross!  Mindless eating also looks horrible and usually results in a lot of gross noise, (and you know how I feel about that).

So, here are some of the finer points of Mindful Eating:

#1.  If you have to stretch out your mouth open as wide as the moon to take a bite, YOU ARE SHOVING IN TOO MUCH FOOD!!  This is usually a big offence when eating burgers and other large sandwiches.  Now, you can either try flattening the offending food down (think pannini), so it fits in your mouth or order a smaller sandwich!  Your waistline will thank you.

#2.  Chew your food!  I won't recommend a specific number of chews, but follow this rule of thumb.  If you would still be able to recognize the food item if you threw it up, you have not chewed it enough.  Stop and mentally examine what's in you mouth before you swallow.  If there are lumps, chunks or bits, KEEP CHEWING!

#3.  Do not add any new food to your mouth until the last bite is gone.  Check between your cheek and gums!  Lots of food hides there.  If you wanna go one step further, don't even load up your fork until your done swallowing everything.  This will not only help you chew more, but will slow down your eating allowing you to feel full faster which means you won't eat so much!

So there you have it.  Small bites, lots of chewing and quit shoving it in so fast!!  It sounds simple, but I have to tell you, it actually takes a lot of concentration.  I'm so used to eating fast, (a by-product of having children), it can be very hard to slow myself down.  But this week, we shall give a go.  Good luck!

Michy

Me and My Bronies

You know, we all have hopes and dreams for our children.  We try and teach them the right things and influence them in all the right ways.  But sometimes, life just throws you a curve ball.  Sometimes, despite all that you've taught them, your children will strike out on their own, and make up their own minds about they're own personal preferences and who they are going to be.  Well, my boys threw me just such a curve ball this week.  One I just didn't see coming, and I am struggling to adjust.

We are well into the second week of summer vacation and my children are trying to set a record for most tv watched during a single summer. (Go ahead all you better parents.  Judge.)  I have happily cleaned the house while listening to Phineas and Ferb; happily folded laundry while singing the theme song to Tough Puppy.  But this week, they got tired of watching their favourite shows.  They decided to watch something else and I walked in and caught them right in the act!!!!!  I caught them watching . . .  My Little Ponies: Friendship Magic.  That's right, my boys are Bronies!!!

Pray for me.


Taking a cue from their four year old cousin, Abigail (!!), the boys have become heavily invested this  cartoon about a group of little ponies who learn the ups and downs of being good friends.   They are loud and proud of their inclination towards these super coiffed equines.  Alex can even sing the whole theme song! 


I know I just have to accept it, them coming out like this. I tried.  Lord knows I tried to teach them.  Since Alex could talk we've been all about Batman and The Justice League and The Avengers.  Even Sponge Bob Squarepants.  But this??  I am at a loss.  Maybe it's just a phase.  Maybe by next week they'll be bored of Apple Jack and Rainbow Dash and Pinky Pie.  Or maybe, just maybe, I should sign them up with the International Brotherhood of Bronies and just let them be who they wanna be!

Michy

Aw Snap!

Well.  This sucks.  The other day, (about two weeks ago now), I was sitting on my sofa reading a book when Will, who was sitting beside me popped the balloon he was playing with.  Naturally, I jumped about a foot which resulted in a loud snap and a massive bloom of pain in my barely healed collarbone. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.  My some miracle I managed not to scream a long list of very bad words.  OMG I thought, I've just re-broken my bone.

This was an especially unpleasant thought because things had been healing up so great.  I could lift weights, lift medium heavy stuff and most importantly, sleep on my left side.  Not anymore.  I'm back to no decent sleep, I can't even lift my purse with my left hand and I have to try and put deodorant on my right pit with my right hand.  I look like a monkey doing it!


(I must digress for a moment.  Both my children are standing at the DVD shelf in the tv room, buck naked, trying to figure out what movie to watch.  I have no idea why.  But anyway . . .)


So, after about two days I was in such pain that I decided to take everyone's advice and go to the doctor to have myself looked at.  I didn't really want to go.  I've played this game before.  You go, wait of four hours to see the doctor, they send you for an x-ray, you wait another hour, then they look at you and say, "yep, it's broken.  Go home and rest."  Pain however is a powerful motivator, so I drove myself over to the local, small town emergency room, (shorter wait), to get me an x-ray.

The Doctor and I both had a look at it.  It looked really good, I mean, if you think plates and screws and pins are attractive.  The Doctor gave me her opinion.  "It's not broken", she said.

Really?

"I think you just strained the muscle really bad".

Really?  What about the loud snapping sound?  I looked closer at the x-ray. "What about this spot here that looks like it's broken"?

"No", she said.  "I don't think so.  It's a muscle strain.  Go home and rest and if it's not better in two weeks go see your surgeon".

Ooookkkkkaaaaaaayyy.

Now, I work out regularly once every month and a half, so I know muscle strain and this was not it, so after two weeks off I went to see Dr. Phan(tastic).  He's still cute. He took one look at the x-ray and said, "Well Mrs. Lambert, you gorgeous woman.  You have indeed broken your collarbone again right there, (he pointed to the exact spot I had mentioned to the other doctor).  You need to take it easy and let it heal.  Your husband must to all the cleaning and laundry and shopping and just let you rest and watch General Hospital.  You are far to beautiful to be doing chores with a broken bone".

I mean, that's not and exact quote, but it's really close.  He also told me not to do any push-ups, which sucks ya know, because, like, that's just what I wanted to go and do.

So there you have it.  Trust your instincts.  Get a second opinion and if you don't like it, get a third one.  I'm off to catch up on General Hospital now.  Take care!

Michy