How do We Make Kids Remember??

Remembrance Day is this weekend, and as a mother of two almost teenage children, I have been contemplating on how to mark the occasion with them.  Schools in Canada do a wonderful job of marking Remembrance day for students.  In the weeks leading up to Nov 11, they do history lessons about the various wars, listen to stories from survivors and do art projects from dramas and paintings to poetry, and at every school I've ever been to, these works are presented to the entire school at a special Remembrance Day ceremony put together by the staff and students to pay tribute to our service men and women and honor their sacrifice.

Wow, when I type it all out like that it really seems like they really should get it, but they don't.  They know Remembrance Day is about honoring veterans for their sacrifice, but they don't get what that sacrifice was.  War and battle are such a foreign concept to them that it has become a thing of entertainment and fiction.  They respect the soldier, but they don't respect the war.

My children, like many others in North America think war is fun.  It's the subject of many of the most popular video games.  Games that although they are rated for adults, are often in the hands on children as young as 9.  Games where you get points for killing people, so the more people you kill the better.  Games where there is no repercussion for killing the wrong person, and in which if you get killed, you just jump back up in the next round and keep going.  You are omnipotent.  Everyone can die but you. They see avoiding being shot as merely a challenging exercise.  They see being shot in the movies and video games as a quick 'pop pop' and you're dead, where only the good guys know how to aim straight, and if you do get hit, some hot babe will come along and nurse you back to health.  They don't understand the pain, the horror of seeing your limbs blown off, or the long, painful road to recovery.  They certainly don't understand watching your friends die all around you.  I wonder how popular these video games would be, if after you paid your $120 and got killed, you stayed dead and that was the end.

I have always found sharing real stories to be a great way to help my kids gain an appreciation for the struggles of others.   A few years ago I thought I had landed upon the perfect tool to help open their eyes to the realities of war.  I had picked up a book written by a former child soldier from Seirra Leone.  A Long Way Gone by Ishmael Beah.

I thought, I'll read this book to the boys and they will finally understand that war is not a game.  I decided to give the book a quick read myself before starting it with they boys.  They were 10 and 8 at the time.  Turns out, the reality of what Ishmael endured was so horrific, I felt the boys were too young to hear it.  Perhaps now that they are older.

My son, age eleven, attended a birthday party this past weekend.  It was a sleepover with a bunch of his friends.  I'm sure pizza, cake and candy were included in the celebration, but the main event of this party was a trip to a paintball arena.  My older son had gone to a party like this once before and, as with that time, I was deeply conflicted. I wonder what children in Sierra Leone would think if they new what our children did for fun.

So how do we help kids remember the sacrifice of men and women from whom they are so far removed? Edu-ma-cation y'all.  Talk to them about it.  In the car, at the table.  When you hear a story on the radio or the news, share it with them.  Explain to them that they get to go to school and play hockey and go to their church or synagogue or mosque, and sleep without worrying about a bomb falling on their house, because a long time ago, when someone wanted to take that freedom away from them, brave men and women fought and died to make sure that that didn't happen.  Say a quick prayer with them before bed every night and mention the kids, just like them, who are living in fear around the world.  It helps remind them of their own good fortune and helps them to learn some empathy.

So, here are my plans for this Saturday, November 11.  Will will miss his dance class, which is scheduled right during the 11 o'clock period.  Instead, he and the rest of our family will be standing, shivering in the cold at the local cenotaph.  Then we'll come home and keep my husbands tradition of watching Saving Private Ryan or some other movie that accurately depicts the realities of war.

Not so much                      Absolutely

I am thrilled that my children and myself have never had direct experience with war.  I pray every night that we never do.  In today's political climate I do a lot of praying.  If Trump and Un decided to have a go at each other our lives could go sideways in a second.  If war breaks out in the next 5-10 years it will be my sons leading the charge to preserve our freedom, a thought I can barley process.

So, a big thank you to all our veterans and service men and women!  You are kick ass! Thank you for facing down the fire so that I can raise my children in a place of peace.

Let me know in the comments if you have a recommendation for a good Nov. 11th movie!  

Michy