The Silver Fox?

As is inevitable, time marches on.  My baby just turned seven.  This past year marked my tenth wedding anniversary.  I have not been asked for id at the liquor store in two years.  (Sigh).  And, although I still like to feel like I am in the prime of youth, my body regularly reminds me that I am hopelessly deluding myself.

Can't run the way I used to.  Nope, if my performance on my baseball team is any indication.  Every time I have to run the bases ankles twist and muscles scream.  There are 60 year olds on my team that could outrun me.  In fact, if I ever have to, "run for my life", I will be dead in 2 seconds.

Can't loose weight the way I used to.  Eat salad for a week, do some sit ups and I used to be on my way to a flat tummy.  Now, eat salad for a week, train 3 days a week, chase after dogs and children, run 50 errands, eat a cheeseburger.  No flat tummy.  Efing metabolism.

Can't even sleep the way I used to.  No more passing out and waking up refreshed 12 hours later.  Oh no!  Now, if I can even get to sleep, I will be woken up at least twice by the need to pee and will spend the rest of the night thrashing around in dreamland, only to wake up more exhausted than when I went to bed.

There are two things about me though, that have consistently held back the relentless march of time.  Two things that have never betrayed my true age and have kept me feeling young all these long years.  My face and my hair.  I am an Arbonne gal and it shows.   I have always taken care of my skin and hair, knowing, that when I really needed them, they would be there for me, tricking people into believing I was 30 forever. It now seems, however, that I have been betrayed.

This past week on my cottage vacation with friends, time caught up with me.  While me and my good gal pals sat around discussing the passage of time, the subject of gray hair came up.  I could see it here and there in my friends hair.  Little gray streaks shining out through the brown.  Tsk, tsk, better call the colourist I thought.  I may have chimed in with, " I don't have any gray hair yet.  Gee I'm so lucky".  When one friends cast a sideways glance at my head and said, "I see a gray hair.  Right there." (point, point).

(Me) "Shut up.  There is no gray hair on my head".

(Nadine) "Yes there is.  It's right there.  It's white".

(Me)  "You're full of crap.  If there was a white hair on my head, I think I'd know!"

(Nadine)  "Oooooookkaaaaaaayyyyyy".

(Me)  "I'm going to check".

I made some seriously quick time to the bathroom.  The ball team would have been proud.  I flicked on the lights and checked my hair VERY carefully.  Nothing.  Not one thing.  Whew!  I knew it couldn't be true.

(Me)  "Nadine, you're full of crap.  There are now gray hairs on my head."

(Nadine)  "Ok Michelle.  If that's what you want to believe, you go ahead".

(Me)  "If you see a gray hair on my head, prove it.  Pull it out".

(Nadine)  "Ok."

**Yoink**

(Me)  "Ow!  Gasp!  Oh my God!.

And there it was.  Not just gray, but snow white.  And coarse and wiry!  Oh God!  Hair, why have you betrayed me?????

(Nadine)  "And there's plenty more where that came from"! I think she was enjoying this just a little too much.

I put the offending hair into a zippy bag to keep for posterity.  I take it out once in a while and look at it and feel it.  (Is that creepy)?  My grandmother on my father's side had a full head of snow white hair.  Is that my future?  Not so bad I suppose.  Or is my future that of my grandmother on my mother's side.  Dark steel gray with lighter gray mixed in?  (Shiver).

Well, one thing I know for sure.  Those white hairs will soon be a gorgeous shade of dark brown and will not bee seen again until at least my late fifties.  There does come a time for all us ladies when you need to step away from the Clairol Box and  let nature take over.  If you're ninety five with pitch black hair, you're not fooling anybody.

Until that day I shall arm myself with the best.  I will continue my war against fine lines and wrinkles with Arbonne's RE9 Advanced skin care and, (this timing couldn't be better), Arbonne's new Pure Vibrance hair care line for colour treated hair.

No Silver Fox here.  No thank you Mam!  I'm calling the colourist now!

Michy

Another Camping Calamity!

Some of you may recall my post about the first camping trip of 2012.  The enormous spiders, the kamikaze June Bugs.  If not please check it out.  I really thought that that was a standout for, "Worst Camping Trip Ever".

Turns out I was wrong.

This year, on the same trip, to the same park, to the exact same site, it proved to be even wilder.

After the dock spiders in the bathroom last year I swore I was done with tent camping forever.  I refused to go camping this year without my own toilet inside my own camping trailer.  No more 15 minute inspection of the premises before peeing.  No more tip toes across cold wet grass with a dying flashlight at 4:30 in the morning. No more tripping over zippers that won't quite go all the way down.  NO!

Thus "Trail-y" was purchased.

"Trail-y"

My kitchen

The boys beds and (cue chorus of Angels), my bathroom

The layout (in case you're curious) (it's the bottom one)

To say that I love Trail-y would be the understatement of the century.  I. LOVE. THIS. TRAILER!  Camping is just so much more civilized this way.  Now, do I feel bad for not strapping on a 90 pound backpack and hiking through the wilderness to a campsite in the bush and cooking my dinner over a campfire I started myself by rubbing two sticks together?  You know, real camping?  F**k no!  Are you kidding?  I have freaking air conditioning people!!

I am ready to camp like a champ!  Oh my Gosh, I just made that up and I love it!  Camp like a champ.  That's just great. But I digress.

Friday evening we roll up to the campground feeling like kings.  First thing to do is fill up our water tanks.  Now, we are first time camper owners, so we don't exactly know what we're doing.  We pulled up to the filling station, (aka, the hose) and opened the cap labeled "water", and started filling.  We didn't quite know how long this should take or how we would know when the tank was full, so we just let it run for ten minutes and then stopped.  Job no. 1, complete!

Then we headed off to the group camping site.  Our first "set up" was not without problems.  We learned that it is best to level your camper before you put down the little stabilizing feet, because otherwise they will get bent horribly out of shape as the camper shifts and levels out.  Lesson learned.  Then we learned that we did not actually put any water into the tank, because we had the hose in the wrong place.  Oh well, I wasn't thirsty anyway.  We also learned that because we didn't have an electricity hookup, we also did not have any air conditioning.  The battery and propane will run everything in the camper, except for the air conditioner.  So, while all the rest of our group slept in cool, breezy tents, the Lambert's literally stewed in our own sweat all night.  The inside of the camper was about 43 degrees and we were parked in such a way that no breeze came in our windows.  Interestingly enough, when we complained about the sweat lodge conditions the next morning, not one person felt bad for us.  Not one!

Jake decided that one night of crappy non-sleep was his limit, and so, the next day he decided to slip into Canadian Tire are purchase a $1200.00 frickin generator.  Don't even get me started.  There is not enough room in the blog-o-sphere for me to argue about this purchase, but he was just a'beamin with joy as he plugged the camper in and fired up that air conditioner.

We also decided to fill our water tank for real.  Unfortunately this had to be done by hand, hauling big jugs of water to the little tiny hole at the back of the trailer and pouring them in one by one using a makeshift funnel cut out of an old pop bottle.

Now, by this point it was getting close to dinner time.  Some of the men were in the kitchen tent preparing dinner, but Jake and I were dealing with a water leak on the inside of the camper.  Water was trickling out of the freshly filled tank and running across the floor.  Hmmmm.  Not good.  While we tried to figure out this problem we stared to hear thunder.  It looked like everyone would be eating dinner under the big shelters our group had put up.

While the thunder got closer and louder and the rain started, the kids coloured at the table while Jake and I tried to stop the water leak.  There was a compartment we need to get into, but it was screwed shut, so despite the now heavy rain and thunder (and maybe a tiny bit of lightening), Jake dashed out into the weather to go procure a screwdriver from one of the other men.  Well, he was gone about 2 minutes when all hell broke loose.

I was coloring with the kids.  They were very nervous about the thunder and lightening which had become so loud it almost blasted the eardrums.  I was trying to shake it off and say, "Wasn't that loud?  Cool!"  to which my children replied that no, it was very not cool, and they didn't like it one bit, and where was Daddy, and how could you send him out in this storm?   I was just assuring them that Daddy was gonna be fine and so were we and hey, look at Bernie (the dog).  He was under the table, ("No he's not cowering in fear.  He's just vibrating.  All dogs do tha,t don't they)?  I tried not to let them see that Scrappy, (the other dog), was literally trying to climb into my clothes he was so scared.  Try to think about the loudest thunderstorm you've ever heard.  We were at the center of it.  Suddenly a massive gust of wind came wailing through our campsite, which is essentially a big field surrounded by tall trees.  There was an ear splitting crack and then a huge tree fell out of the forest, smashing into the ladies outhouse, breaking the roof and exploding chunks of wood everywhere.

Guess the ladies have to pee in the bush now!  The roof cracked in half!

Then it occurred to me.  Prior to our first camping trip of the season, it had been on my "to do list" to call the insurance guy and make sure our trailer was insured.  It occurred to me that I hadn't actually crossed that off my "to do list" just yet.

So, when trees started falling out of the forest not 20 feet from where my beloved Trail-y was parked, I suddenly joined the children in deciding that this storm was most definitely NOT cool!  I hugged my children tight, and while they prayed for our lives and for the life of their Daddy, (who had still not returned with the screwdriver), I prayed for Trail-y.  "Please, dear sweet Jesus don't let a tree fall on my camper.  Please!  Oh why didn't I call the insurance guy!"

The rain was so thick, the wind so fast and the thunder and lightning so loud we couldn't see or hear anything more that 20 feet from the camper.  We were all about to hide under the table when out of nowhere Jake comes barreling in the door.  We were happy to see him, but I stared hollerin.  "Are you crazy!!!??"  No joke, it was like being in the middle of a hurricane and he decided that it was a good time to go running across an open field in the middle of a lightening storm.  Sheesh, some guys!

"But I had to" he says.  "I got hit in the head with a tree!"

Apparently he didn't quite get to asking for a screwdriver when the storm blew up, so he took refuge under one of the shelters.  He was waiting there for things to blow over when he heard a huge crack and saw a tree starting to come crashing towards him.   As he bolted from the shelter he felt something hit the back of his head.  Sure enough the was a big bump and scratch on the back of his head.

Thunder, wind, lightening and rain raged for about ten more minutes before things started to calm down.  The kids were in hysterics, Jake was checking out his head and I was still praying nothing would hit my camper.   When the storm finally cleared we got to have a good look around.  People started crawling out of their cars to assess the damage.  It took me a few minutes to realize that our shelters were completely gone.  Yes, the ones Jake had been hiding under!  The kitchen tent was gone and two tents had been uprooted and thrown all the was across the field.

This tree came down directly between Bob's tent and car!  Lucky!

This tree fell out of the bush

This is the branch that hit Jake in the noggin!

This is the same branch.  Jake had been sitting right on the corner of that picnic table!

Right there!  One more centimeter and it would have cracked his skull!

This is hard to see but this is the tree Jake heard falling.  It is massive.  Like a freakin oak tree or something!

This is what is left of one of the shelters.  I don't know if we even found the other one.  This is the one Jake had been sitting under.

The beige and green tent was the kitchen tent.  Turns out that although the tent got blown over, dinner was still on the stove!  So, we moved dinner over to Trail-y and everyone ate there! Yeah Trail-y!

Everyone was saying how amazing it was that no one had been hurt.  We all must have said it about 50 times until Jake reminded us that, actually he did get hit in the head with a tree.  He got checked out at the local hospital and he's fine.  And so is Trail-y.  Whew!  We packed up and headed home that night.  We didn't get to use the $1200.00 generator, or the 80 gallons of water we manually filled the tanks with, which we had to dump on the ground.  But the kids were freakin, so home we went.  The kids still get mad if we even talk about thunder storms.

Well, I'm going to assume that we worked all the bugs out on this trip, and that the rest of the summer our camping days will be sunny during the day and cool at night.  Our camper will work perfectly and everything will run smoothly, and I swear, any day now I'm gonna get around to calling the insurance guy.

Happy camping!

Michy

The Great Pinata Fiasco

So, Alex's 9th birthday was this month.  Time to plan a party! 

I loved going to birthday parties when I was a kid.  Especially sleepover birthday parties.  I grew up out in the sticks, so sleepover parties were the norm.  If your parents had to drive any kind of distance to get you to the party, they were more than happy not to repeat the drive again until the next day.  And there was no Cosmic Adventures or Fun Haven either, oh no!  Birthday parties were something that happened at your friend's house. Now, all my friends lived on farms, so there was a lot of running room, (and a lot of mischief to get into), and they lived in big, old farm houses, so there was plenty of space.  There was no super strict activity schedule and "party hostesses"either, in fact, we barely even saw parents at all unless it was time to eat or open presents.

It was awesome!

The first time I took my son to a friends birthday party here in the city I was shocked.  The party was at one of those huge, bright, insanely noisy play places.  The parents paid $250 dollars for 10 kids to run around the play place like wild screaming banshees for and hour and a half, and then the whole lot of them were crammed into a, "party room", for half and hour to wolf down some sketchy pizza and rip open presents.  When I picked up my son at the end of the two hours, the birthday boys parents looked one bite short of zombification.  For that kind of money, shouldn't you be less stressed at the end?

So, for the last two years, we have gone back to basics for Alex's birthday parties.  He invited seven of his best buds (plus himself and his brother) to our house, for a pizza/movie/video game/sleepover.  Here is our MO;

• Party starts at 4:30pm.  Kids can play inside or outside doing whatever they want.
• Whenever we damn well feel like it, we eat.  This year we ordered pizza.  Last year I made spaghetti.  Kids aren't that hard to please.  After that we eat cake. Yum!
• Next is the highlight of the party, the pinata.  Oooooh, ahhhhhh!  We love pinatas!  This year it was a guitar pinata, in years past we have beaten the shit out of a burro, Optimus Prime, a soccer ball and Spongebob Squarepants.  Each kid has a paper bag with their name on it and when that pinata busts open they rush in and fill their bags with candy.  That is their "goody bag".  Parents these days go waaaaaaaaay overboard with the goody bags!  My kids have come home from birthday parties with goody bags that were worth more than the gift I bought!  It is craaaaaazy!  And really the only thing in it they want is the candy.  So there you go.  Each kid leaves my house with a big 'ol bag of candy.  If there's any left by the morning that is.  But more on the pinata later.
• Happily full children return to playing whatever they want until around whenever I feel like it, when we put on a movie of the birthday boys choosing.  Kids who wanna watch, watch and anyone who doesn't can do whatever they want.  (All of this is happening while I am sitting quietly, curled up with my cross stitch and a cup of tea).
• The kids all pass out around eleven pm.  They sleep in the basement with their sleeping bags and pillows talking about boy stuff until they pass out.  I am blissfully asleep two floors up in my soft, cozy bed.  I don't hear a thing until I wake up the next morning.  Usually the kids have been up since 4am playing video games.  No skin off my nose.  
• Then I make pancakes and ship a bunch of sleepy children with sugar hangovers back their parents.  You're welcome!

Now here's the good part.  

There was this one time, when maybe the beloved pinata didn't exactly work out as planned.  That's right, our beloved pinata plans when amiss in a way that I swear could only happen to me.

Will's third birthday.  For Will's third birthday we were going camping with a bunch of friends.  It was June.  The weather was lovely.  So we decided to have his party at one of our campsites and everyone would come and it would be a family and friends party.  His "theme" was Diego.  Will loved Diego.  So I bought and VERY carefully transported a beautifully decorated Diego Birthday Cake all the way to the campsite and, of course, we had a Diego pinata, stuffed full of candy for all the kids to enjoy.  

Diego Pinata

OMG, were the kids ever excited. And so were the parents.  I mean, what parent doesn't want to make their kid happy on his birthday.  

So the big day came and we went over to our friends campsite and started setting up for the party.  The table was laid, the cake was put out, the BBQ was fired up.  Then the men-folk started to hang the pinata.  The only place to really hang it from was one of the many trees that surrounded the site, so they grabbed a rope and got the job done.  When I turned around and saw it, I almost died.  

We had just strung a little brown boy up by his neck in a tree.

Dear.  Sweet. Jesus.

I was so embarrassed. And it wasn't like has was going anywhere any time soon.  The party hadn't even started and there was lots to do before pinata time.  Every time someone walked past the campsite I cringed.  What must they think of us?  I tired to ignore him, but I couldn't.  We chatted, barbecued and ate all while little Diego swung overhead.  I could hear him in my head, "Ayúdame! Ayúdame!"  Oh God!

Finally it was time to "do" the pinata.  Great.  Now we are gathered in a circle around poor Diego encouraging our small children to hit him with baseball bats and sticks.  "Get him Will.  Get him!  Knock his head right off!!"

Well, turns out Diego was rather fond of his head.  The kids smacked him around for a good half hour and no one could crack him open.  Then the Dads got involved. Man after man tried to separate Diego from his head.  I'm talking major league hitting here, but he stayed firmly in tact.  Finally we pulled him down and torn him to pieces to get at the candy.  It was awful.  It was like the "Passion of the Pinata".  I was waiting for a civil rights march to break out in the campground.  It was mortifying!

So, take this away with you.  Birthday parties can still be simple, fun, inexpensive affairs with minimal fuss and stress and never, ever, get a pinata in the shape of a person.

Michy

No TV, No Video Games . . . No Problem!

So, this past Sunday, the Lambert's unplugged.  After an entire Saturday of sitting on their behinds, playing Minecraft, you could practically see my boys mushy brains dripping out their ears.

Alex after too many video games

So, I decided that there would be no tv, no Wii or Wiiu, no iPods, no laptop, iPad or computer.  No nothing.

Did the boys freak?  No really.  They know me.  They knew there was no way they were gonna get to play video games for an entire day and not have to pay for that eventually.  They groaned a bit, but otherwise they understood.  In their defense, I could have told them to turn off the game, but they were getting along sooooooo nicely.  They were playing together, laughing, helping each other.  It was so nice just listening to them, I didn't want to wreck it.

So what to a 6 and an 8 year old do nowadays with no electronic stimulation?  Well apparently they don't get dressed.  The boys were running around in their undies all day.  They did however make it through playing Legos and Trios and Transformers, all before asking if they could please play Minecraft.  When I suggested I could get out their homework, they immediately found something else to do.  They played with the dogs, played Power Rangers, Furbies and chased each other around the house for a bit.  When they asked me again if they could please, please play some Minecraft, I suggested that if they were bored they could put away their laundry and make their beds.  They decided to do some crafts instead.

Now they day was not without a hitch.  There was a period of about an hour and a half, when I was upstairs working, that I noticed the kids were being awfully quiet.  I thought they were in the basement making forts out of the couch cushions.  I went down to take a peek and caught two boys red handed with Wii remotes in their hands.  They were smiling until they saw me.   Then they new they were screwed.  Each made a big production of how they had just forgot, (yeah, like I just fell off the turnip truck or something), and how sorry they were.  The good part was that they wasted at least an hour crying in their rooms, the bad part, they lost their electronics for Monday too!

So, after the toys and the tears have all been exhausted, and your little child brain has been without electronic stimulation for 9 hours, what do you do for fun?  Please try and picture this in your brain.

The boys come downstairs in Dad's boxer shorts, which they have stuffed full of stuffed animals.  They look like Kim Kardashian on butt steroids.  Then they proceed to bounce around the living room, shaking there booties to, "I Like To Move It, Move It".  By the time they were done, the floor was littered with stuffies and we were all busting a gut.  Swing over to my Facebook page to see the live video, (can't post it here because of all the pervs out there), or I can e-mail it to you.

So there you have it.  Two children in 2013 can survive a day, (and now 2) without electronics.  They played with toys, (you know, those things they begged you for at Christmas).  They made up some very creative dance numbers, and they got along together all day!  Life is good!

Give it a try.  I'd love to see what your kids come up with!  Maybe, one day, I'll be brave enough to try this with Jake.  I promise, if he stuffs his pants and dances around the living room, THAT video IS getting posted!!


Michy

Me So Crafty!!

Check out the latest addition to my living room.  Plenty more pictures still to be added!

A REAL Family Tree!

Happy, Healthy, Prosperous New Year!

I cannot believe another year has passed.  What the heck?!  Today Alex said to me, "I'll turn nine in a few months".  Nine!!!

"Spring is just around the corner", I told him.  And it's true!  The days are already getting longer.  This year, in only it's first day, is already slipping away.   I think, therefore, it is a good idea to resolve to live each day as it's own special blessing.  Think, "one day at a time", or "living in the moment".

That doesn't mean I'm not gonna keep a calendar up upcoming events, it just means I am going to focus on the here and now.  If I find myself stressing about things that are coming up, or the long list of things I have to do, I'm going to stop, take a breath, and focus on the task at hand.  I'm going to really enjoy the walk to the store, without worrying about all the things I have to get when I get there.  I'm going to focus on the joy of cooking and not on the pile of dishes I'll have to clean later. And later, when I'm washing those dishes, I'm going to try and think about how nice the dish soap smells, how well my micro-fiber cloth rings out and how good the music on the kitchen radio is. I can get into a very zen place folding laundry.

Since I can sense the seasons slipping by already, I have also resolved to try and do more things to enjoy this winter.  It's a very special season.  Half the world never even gets to experience it!  When I think about people who really enjoy winter, I think skiers, skaters, hockey players.  I am none of those things.  Especially after last years skiing calamity.  But I love seeing other people's excitement about winter.  I've been reading my friend Mike's posts on Facebook.  Here is a man who seriously loves his job, taking skiers on helicopter trips up into the Rockies and guiding them down.  His excitement about his job is infectious.

There's also my own children.  They absolutely love winter.  Thanks to our location on a cul de sac, every year the snowplow makes a monstrous mountain of snow in the center of our street.  Kid paradise!  They happily spend half the day climbing, sliding and building on this heaping mountain if snow!

The Boys on the Snow Mountain

My favorite winter activity?  I'm doing it right now.  Snuggling up in front of a roaring wood fire, sipping some leftover New Years Champagne and writing.  I can hear the boys upstairs running around and giving Jake a hard time about brushing their teeth.  It makes me smile.

I do have some other resolutions this year.  I want to improve my health and fitness, of course.  I want to get a few big projects done around the house.  And I'm going to be throwing myself into my new Arbonne business full tilt. I want to volunteer more.  It's a great way to get out and meet people.

I also want to sit a whole lot less.  Oh my gosh, I spend so much time on my kiester, and I don't even have a desk job.  I watch a little bit of tv, but not much by average standards.  All of my hobbies though are done sitting down.  Cross stitch, knitting, scrap-booking, puzzles, reading, writing.  All sitting.   I absolutely must move more!!  I have no excuse!

So, that ought to be enough to keep me busy for the next 12 months.  I wish everyone out there in the blog-o-sphere a happy, healthy, prosperous new year!

Michy